Test Anxiety

I am having test anxiety. I teach ninth graders and there is an end-of-course test in May. It's in May, but I'm having nightmares now. How am I preparing them? Am I teaching them the right thing? How can anything prepare them for a standardized test? How will tomorrow's lesson effect their scores?

This is a problem. I have a problem. I'm not thinking of teaching them to be lifelong readers and writers. I'm thinking of teaching them to be good test-takers in May. It's almost as if I've bought into the hype that says that test will show how good of a teacher I am.

And it won't.

The lives that I touch may or may not do well on that test, but they'll remember the lifelong lessons from my class. They'll remember that we start each day with a little reading, because reading is like a muscle and you use it or you lose it. They'll hopefully remember that they shouldn't "think" in their writing--they should just get to the point and know. They'll remember their ma'ams and pleases and thank yous. They'll hopefully be more likely to pick up after themselves. And there is no doubt that they'll remember that there is a book out there for them. They just have to know how to look for it.

The test in May won't show all the little lessons that we've covered so far this school year. It won't measure my impact on their lives. But for someone on the outside, it will measure my effectiveness as a teacher. And that is what is giving me nightmares.