A Different Kind of Christmas

Can I start by saying I'm pretty spoiled when it comes to my family?  I grew up with my grandparents--all of my grandparents--and even two great-grandparents.  In fact, as a 34-year-old woman, I still have all of my grandparents.  And we spend the holidays together.

When I was growing up, my two sets of grandparents lived about 45 minutes apart from one another.  I had a country set and a city set.  And we saw them at each holiday.  We started each Christmas morning at home, but soon hit the road for the country.  After lunch there, we headed over to my other grandparents' house to finish the day.  I know that I was blessed to grow up surrounded by so much love.  And that has continued into adulthood--my city grandparents downsized and moved to the house next door to my parents.  And we continue to spend the holidays with both families.

This year was different in many ways.  Some ways were good and some were not, and it was definitely an adjustment.  I have a sick father this year.  He had a knee replacement at the beginning of the month and contracted the MRSA infection, so Christmas was put on hold for him.  To top that off, my cousin had an emergency c-section on Christmas Eve, so Christmas was on hold for her as well, although she got the best Christmas present ever in the form of a precious little girl.

But these hardships made Christmas much different for all of us.  For the first time in 34 years, I did not see my dad's parents for Christmas.  I spent Christmas Eve in my own home this year.  I spent Christmas morning in my own home this year.  My dad wasn't able to eat with us at all this year--he stayed at home while we went next door for dinner.  While I regretted these changes, this may have been one of the best Christmases I've ever had.  I don't remember ever laughing so hard with my family.  I don't remember enjoying the holiday quite so much.  It's been wracked with anxiety for me the last few years, but this year was so relaxing.  But there was no anxiety this year because I knew that there was nothing I could do to change the course of events.  So we relished in each other's company like we never have before.

There was a lot less stress on my family this year, surprisingly enough.  We had a rare opportunity to exist within our own bubble, knowing that there was no way to change anything and there was no way to make anyone else happy.  I'm sure that our bubble will be burst next year, and I would never want to relive the drama of the past month.  But we showed our own strength this holiday season.  And we are closer for it.

Another year over...another just begun....

Here we are at the end of yet another semester.  Time really flies--which is a good thing, since my state representatives have introduced a bill that would keep me working until I'm 62!  But that's a story for another day.

I'm sitting on the tail-end of another semester and trying to recapture that excitement I had just 17 weeks ago.  I'm feeling like I have fallen short of all of my idealistic goals.  I'm doubting my own effectiveness.  This is not a happy place to be. 

So it is time to move forward with a new attitude, maybe some new goals, and a renewed sense of excitement.  It is time to reexamine my classroom practices...which are for the best of the student?  Which will help us find success on standardized test?  Which standardized test should I even take into account?  It's a lot to think about.  And all I want to think about is the break.  And how wonderful it is going to be.  :)