The Struggle of Balance

I adore my job. I hesitate to call it a job most days, because I really, really enjoy working with kids--even when they are driving me crazy. Coaching has given me a new and unique perspective; teaching part-time and coaching full-time has only deepened my appreciation for both jobs. My problem--I can't be a little of either. I'm an all or nothing kinda girl.

This is my third year as a literacy coach under a state grant with the South Carolina Reading Initiative. The first year, I spent two days a month in training and the rest of my time being a full-time teacher. That was quite a year--I was constantly looking at my own pedagogy and making changes. I was much more aware of what I was expecting my students to do and how well they were achieving.

The second year, last school year, was my first year out of the classroom. I had an office. I did conference presentations. I taught a graduate class on campus. I worked with individual teachers. While all this was going on, I was still attending training sessions and I was still very much learning what to do. The learning curve is steep when you are supposed to be the expert in your field.

This year is my third year under the grant and my second year out of the classroom. Being sans children really began to take a toll on my psyche. I didn't look forward to work. The assignments for my training have really pulled me down and I find myself being more and more frustrated. So when an English teacher left mid-year and I was asked to step in for two of the classes, I all but jumped at the chance. This is what I was born to do, no doubt. My assistant principal recently visited and called it a symphony to watch.

But there aren't enough hours in the day for both jobs. I find myself wanting and needing to spend all of my time on a group of students who were abandoned for 3 months after their teacher left. I find myself needing to be the best teacher that I can possibly be and spending hours searching for new ways to teach things. I truly struggle to balance both jobs well.

This is where my calendar comes in handy. Now that 3rd quarter grades are done and entered, I can get back to keeping a strict schedule with my teachers. I'll be able to get out of my office and spend my spare time watching others teach and helping them improve. Its a fun job too--its not too far-fetched from creating lessons to intrigue reluctant learners. Only now its morphing new and innovative practices into something that anyone can implement.